This is technically my 20th new year. Probably the 10th one that I remember. I will no longer be a teenager in two weeks. And in 12 hours I will be out on my own. With my own place, beginning another segment in my new life.
And when the crowd goes home, the lights are turned down and the only sound is the dishwasher running the first of many loads, the feeling sets in. It is the feeling that I had expected when I left the states but didn’t come. Too much expectation perhaps? It was an anti-climax. Maybe it was because I wasn’t necessarily choosing to leave, it was just something that I had to unquestionably do. But this, this is different. I am leaving something good, something that will end with fond memories and closer relationships. I am choosing to go out on my own and carry what I’ve learned with me. This is me being an adult, making an adult decision. I used to be a child making adult decisions, but for once who I am and what i’m doing, is being done the way it should. So what i’m feeling is this, I am sad that I just said “good-night” and “see you in the morning” for the last time to Joel and Jenn, but I am excited because tomorrow, technically today, is the first day of a new year and a new escapade in my life. I will be utterly reliant on God for his provision. And that’s the way I want it. And so it should be. So I bid adieu to 2009 and will go lay down for the last time in my queen size bed that I will miss and wake up with the expectation of something more. Good night and good luck. Happy New Year.
